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Frog Jokes -N- Croaks


 

Do female frogs croak?
Sure, if you hold their heads under water long enough.

Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them!

What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!

What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired?
It got toad!!

What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!

What's green and red?
A very mad frog.

How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
Unhoppy.

What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!

What does a frog say when it sees something' great?
Toadly awesome!

What do you call a frog with no legs?
It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.

What does a bankrupt frog say?
"Baroke, baroke, baroke."

A man walks in to a doctors office with a frog on his head. The doctor leaps up and says: "Good grief, how on earth did you get that great ugly thing!"
The frog looks down and replies: "I dun no Doc, it started out as a little wart on my bottom!"

What did the frog dress up for on Halloween?
A prince.

What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.

What's white on the outside, and green on the inside?
A frog sandwich!

What do ya call a frog's favorite soda?
Croaka-Cola!

What is red and green and goes a thousand miles and hour?
A frog in a blender!!!

What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied!

What's green green green green green?
A frog rolling down a hill

Why did the frog say meow?
He was learning a foreign language.

What is the thirstiest frog in the world?
The one who drinks Canada Dry!

Why did the frog go to the hospital?
He needed a "hopperation" !

What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied!

Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.

Who is smarter, a chicken or a frog?
A frog of course.

How do you know?
Well, I've never heard of Kentucky Fried Frog!

Why did the motorcycle rider buy a pet frog?
To pick the flies out from between his teeth!

A teacher had a 5-year-old come up to her and said that he found a frog. The teacher asked, "Is the frog alive or dead?"
The student replied, "It's dead."
The teacher then asked, "How do you know for sure?"
The boy said, "I pissed in its ear."
Aghast, the teacher said, "You did what?"
He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, 'PSST!' and it didn't move. So, it must be dead."

What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts!

Where do frogs borrow money?
From the river bank!

Which frog has horns?
A bullfrog

Why does a frog stand in the outfield?
So that he won't miss a fly.

To confuse a frog, put it in a round bowl and tell it to croak in the corner.
To confuse you,, frog hops out, says, "I needed that nap - thanks! I feel much better

What do you call a 100 year old frog ?
An old croak !

What's a toads favourite sweet ?
Lollihops !

What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak ?
Morse toad !

What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry ?
A hoppercraft !

What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy ?
Hoppalong Cassidy !

What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog ?
A croaker spaniel !

Whats green and can jump a mile a minute ?
A frog with hiccups !

Whats a frogs favourite game ?
It's croak-et !
 


Top ten signs you might be a frog.

* You get mad when you don't find a fly in your soup
* You buy out the supply of wart removal cream in your drugstore constantly
* French chefs are eyeing your legs and appear to be following you
* Bug lamps appear to you as a curse
* On applications, you list 'Pond' as your home address
* Kermit is your idol
* You get mad whenever Miss Piggy makes a pass at Kermit
* Have seen the movie 'The Fly' at least ten times
* You live in fear that someday you will wind up in a child's aquarium
* France is the evil empire to you

 

 

 



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